Hope & Inspire

I know I've been blaming you for these past few days especially when I'm so hurt and broken because of something else. I blamed you for what you have done. If you have been a proper dad then we wouldn't be suffering this way. I wouldn't be having the thought that my relationship would be like yours too. That was the only thing I prayed so badly from before that my relationship should never be like my parents. My biggest fear, you could say. Lately, I came across this article by Natalia Lusinski titled, "How your relationship with your dad can affect your love life." "If you had a great relationship with your dad, you will most likely have few struggles in your relationships with men,” said Shirani M. Pathak. “If you didn’t have such a great relationship with your dad, expect to find yourself struggling in your relationships with men.” So this was going on in my mind quite sometime because it made sense. At least a little. But why am I talking about this

09.06.1955 - When the clock strikes twelve, there will always be a phone call from us wishing you 'Happy Birthday' but this time onwards there will be none because you are no longer with us. Just the thought of it causes me so much pain. I was dreading of this day for the amount of pain I'll be going through and to be honest, I didn't want to go through it at all but I have no choice because I can't escape it either. So I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, and the pain that aches in my heart writing you this because there's nothing else that I can do, but this. I'm not just going through this today, but every other day too, and this month especially, I'll be going through it twice because after this it's Father's Day. Your face is fading away from my memories and I only have pictures to get reminded by which at the same time is keeping those memories of you alive for me. I wish it wasn't that way at all. I wish all of us would still ha