Hope & Inspire

To the one who has her heart,  She remembers the first time she got to know you, the first time you kissed her, the first time she gave love another chance, the first time you were crazy for her, the first time you held her hands, the first time you listened to her talk for hours, the first date where the both of you were surrounded with music, lights, and a Ferris wheel, the first time you made her fall in love with you and the first time you made her feel she finally found her one. For her, you are her whole world and without you, she does not exist either. You mean so much to her. You are her home, family and her person. She's the happiest and luckiest girl ever. And she also remembers her first fight with you and how it got worse from there onwards. How another person can ruin what you both have. Those were her worst times. She didn't even know how she went through it. Everything feels a little surreal, at times. She went through a lot of pain, physically, mentally, and e

People think she's full of shit. They think the things she say and do are just for attention. They think she is happy because that's how they see her, but what they don't know is that's how she lets them to see her. She don't tell them what's going on with her because they can never understand. So she keeps it all bottled up in her. Even if she did find that one person that she thinks she could tell everything to, she realised she is so wrong about it. They often failed to realise that it's usually not just one thing that makes them that way. It usually starts with one thing and ends up with everything else that's been going wrong in their life. You don't tell them it's just a small matter so don't stress up about it but that's the thing, isn't it? It's not stress we are talking about. It's never ending sadness that leads to overthinking, depression and then anxiety and when it's too late, suicide. It gets worse every time

She's a mother of two who lost her husband. Her daughters lost their dad and it was unexpected and sudden. It's sad that even if she wants to go out at this time, she's thinking twice about it because she's worried about leaving her grown up daughters alone at home. It's sad that she had to inform the neighbour to look after them for her while she's gone when she used to not worry at all because their dad was around. Even though he wasn't around much, at the end of the day, he was always there and they knew deep down inside that they were not worried at all because no matter what, he was there to save them, to protect them, to be their hero when they were in trouble. That made them sleep peacefully at night, brave enough to do and say anything and even go anywhere they wanted to but now, after he is gone, they are shaken, afraid and broken. Without them realizing, he was their strength, and courage. They needed him more than he needed them and it's too l

I’m aware that it has been long since I have updated my blog and this is probably the hardest blog that I got to write but the truth needs to be out, anyway. What it is about? It’s about my dad. I might even tear up while writing this blog, but I just have to instead of putting it off for quite a while now. So here it goes. Before I get into it, I wanted to let you guys know that he is no longer alive. He passed away last year on the 28 th of November, 2016 at 1.36 in the afternoon and he was only 61 years old. He was hospitalized for a week before we lost him to Basilar Artery Stroke.   It was a sudden, unexpected death. Let me tell you about my dad. There are always two sides to a person, the good and the bad. Let me start with the good side of him first. He’s someone who holds strong to his beliefs and views. He’s the bravest man I have ever known. I mean that is how dads are supposed to be, right? Strong, brave, going to that extra mile to support, protect and provide the fam