Fools in Love

We are all fools in love. We probably came across this statement quite a few times, but how many of us actually believe in them. Most of us would and unfortunately, I am one of these fools. Somehow love has this power on us. If you are in love or were in love then you would know what I am talking about. Whether it’s good or bad, we are blinded by it. We are blinded by how beautiful are they and how terrible it could get. Even though the truth is only people has that power on us, we never fail to blame them on love. When something turns out wrong, it’s love’s fault or if something is magical as it is, it’s because of love. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that it’s not because of love. It is. At least a part of it is but it’s mainly like that because of the person we fall in love with. We often know the truth too. It’s just human nature to not accept the fact. Love is something so simple, fragile and beautiful, but we often define it as something so cruel, scary and ratchet. Just because of one bad relationship, we would not want to be in love anymore. The worst outcome is that we tend to make others believe that too. We would tell them not to fall in love because it is better that way. We warned them of the worst possible outcomes that could come out of it where we forgot about the amazing parts. Sometimes, I do wonder why it is that way. I tend to do the same thing. 

Once the relationship is over, we remember the bad more than the good. We would not let ourselves to even reminisce the good old days because we are so afraid we might miss the relationship or the person we were with. Sometimes, it’s good to allow ourselves to actually relive the moments back. Yes, we might miss them and those moments would cause tears in our eyes but it is okay. We are humans after all and it would help us see that it is okay to fall in love even when your heart has been broken one too many times because you are one broken heart away from happily ever after. Cliché, but I like to think that it is somehow the truth. I mean, how you are going to find the one without even falling in love and getting your heart broken over and over again. It’s a process, after all. Yes, it is scary to put your heart out there again, but that is how life works. Just because something or someone knocks you down, you can’t stay down forever, right? You have to get back up again, whether you like it or not and it is the same thing when it comes to love. Don’t give up on love. Just not yet. I promise you, once you find it; it is the most beautiful feeling in the world which is indescribable. 

No matter how many fights you will have or how many times you will feel like giving up, you will not. How sure can I be of this? Very. If there is love, there is always hope and when there is fear, there is true love. If two people love each other that much then despite all of the arguments and challenges, nothing or no one can tear them apart. Thus, if their love is true. You will be wondering if there is such thing as true love or not. There are, sadly. Most people in our generation nowadays are misusing the word love. Why am I saying this? That is because they just want someone to act they are in a relationship with when they are clearly not just because they don’t want to end up alone. Sickening, isn’t it? If you want to do so, then go ahead because it is your life anyway, but just do not misuse the meaning of love itself and don’t betray other people’s perception of it. That’s the most heartless thing you could do to them. If you don’t believe it, its fine, but don’t destroy other people believes in it. Simple as that. 

There are probably a lot of reasons why relationship nowadays don’t last long, but mine is just one. You start losing the other person; mainly because you stop doing whatever you did to get the other person like you did the first time. That is where all the problems started. This is why even marriages ended up in divorce. People just stop trying once they have got the person they wanted. The more this happens, the more relationships do not last long. I get it that at times, you are busy or you don’t have the time or life just gets complicated, but first, no one is ever too busy. If they want to make time, they will. It’s all about priorities. So if someone tells you that they are busy, bullshit. Life does get complicated, but that doesn’t mean you are not going on with it, right? So why all those excuses? Why does everything seem more than just fine at the beginning and then when it gets for a few months, life suddenly appears, is it? That is ridiculous to me. If you love them, love them how it was the very first time and never stop. At times, it is hard to even love that person, but that is when it is worth it. 

I know that I would do whatever it is for the person I’m in love with but the question here is, would that person do the same for me too? This does not mean we don’t believe what you are capable of doing for us, but sometimes, it’s nice you just do it instead of saying it. Remember, efforts over words. Always. We never expect it, but once in a while don’t you think it is nice when you do something for someone. Gestures are everything. It will make that person you are with in glee and seeing that smile on their face would make you happy too. Isn’t that what counts at the end of the day of how happy you can keep them and how happy you are together. For me, that would probably be more than enough. Let’s get something else straight too. When I meant by doing for them something, I do not mean big gestures like an expensive gift or a fancy dinner or an extravagant vacation. Even though, once in a while that would be nice (I’m not going to lie, it does) but what I actually meant was, a single rose, dinner under the stars, or even a long drive would be more than satisfying and it is indeed filled with more love than you could ever imagined. Show them how much they mean to you; how you can’t live without them, that they are always on your mind and that without them, you can’t see yourselves fall in love with anyone else. I can guarantee you, your relationship will never end, even when it hits rock bottom. That’s how stronger your love is. 

Time, attention and unconditional love are the key to a good relationship. The small things matter the most. Make sure they are a priority to you. When you are in a relationship, it’s not about you anymore. You have to think about the other person too. A relationship is based on two people and two way communication. It won’t work if it’s just one person. Communication is as much as important too. If there’s a problem, or just about anything, communicate with each other because if you don’t and when one day everything just explodes, it will be ugly and it will be too late to save anything that is left also. So do not let it get that far. Do not let that happen. Another thing that I realized was, you would eventually at one point get bored of your other half. Trust me, this would happen and I can tell you, that it is normal. If this happens, do not straight away conclude that there is something wrong with your relationship because it does not. Few people would tend to find someone else instead. NO! You’re not supposed to do so. Just because the relationship gets boring, it does not give you the upper hand to go look for someone else. That is very wrong. It does not mean that the spark has gone. It’s never gone if you never stop loving that person. You just have to find it back and reignite that spark all over again. Never let it run out. Work on it together and you will realize that it never did disappear but it was there all along. 

One thing is for sure, no matter how boring or how difficult it gets, you just never stop loving the person you are in love with. Instead of finding someone new, rethink back on why you wanted to be with this person in the first place, why you fell in love with her/him when there are a lot of other people you can fall in love with and most importantly, if you already have someone who would never give up on you and would love you like there’s no tomorrow, then why do you even need anyone else? Do not let this person go or else you would regret it the rest of your life. Just hold on to them. They are the best thing that could ever happen to you. Being loyal and honest is very crucial in a relationship too. Two easy things; do not lie and do not cheat. They are two different meanings, though. Even the smallest thing, Do Not Lie! Just don’t. First, the person you are lying to would definitely have the feeling that something is wrong. Second, somehow or someway they will find out about it. They won’t even be expecting it so just don’t lie. It is the same for me too. Tell them the truth, no matter how hard it is. It’s so much better that way. Imagine them finding out your lies one by one, you think you can explain it to them. Okay, maybe you can but let me tell you something, once that person you lied to know that you lied, it would be harder for them to believe you next time even if you are indeed speaking the truth. So when there’s no trust, the relationship ended up going down the drain. Do you actually want to see that happen? I don’t think so, right? So next time when you want to lie, think about the consequences first, think about what are you jeopardizing and then just go ahead and tell them the truth instead. 

Cheating on the other hand, is when a person’s believe in people, love and happy endings are shattered into millions of pieces because of a shameless act of certain individuals. Like I told you over and over and over again, if you love that person so much, you won’t be busy in looking at someone else in the first place. If you don’t have the same feeling for this person that once upon a time you thought they were your whole world, then instead of cheating on them, please, please just tell them first how you feel. End that relationship and then start another one. Don’t be in a relationship and start a new one with another person. That’s deceiving. Don’t make them have trust issues after that because of your selfishness. Spare them the misery, the heartbreak, and be compassionate enough to let them go first. It is better to break their heart that way than breaking their heart with them finding out that you have cheated on them. If you feel everything is falling apart between you two, or you don’t feel the same way anymore, or if you have fallen out of love, tell them, please. Just tell them so that they do not have to waste any more time being in a relationship that does not have any hope anymore. It is hard, but that is the right thing to do and always, remember to do the right thing because by doing so, you not only let yourself free but the other person too. 

Relationships are better off if it’s kept personal. Very much true, but at the same time, it’s nice to know that the person you are in love with don’t mind showing you around. They do not need to show you to the whole world, but just a few friends of them would be something too. Sometimes, the thought of it that counts. Do not make that person feel less than what they are. When this happens, remember this, if that person knows his/her worth, then they would just move on from you. Now, you definitely do not want to see that happen, right? So don’t make them feel that way. Make them feel like they are the only guy/girl in the world and that you are lucky and proud enough to have them by your side for a long run. Love is a beautiful thing and falling in love with a person is even more beautiful than as it is. With the right person, you would feel all sorts of things, the butterflies, the spark, the thunder, the rain, the sunshine, the on top of the world feeling, every single thing and that’s what makes love itself a magical fairy tale. It may be a little exaggerating, but that is the truth anyway. Fall in love, and then you would agree with me too. 

No matter how many heart breaks I went through and sometimes it even terrifies me to fall in love again but it does not mean I won’t. I definitely would, just because the good part of falling in love conquers among all those tears wasted and the heartbreaks that pierced right through your heart. It also gives me experiences and also I can write about it so I don’t see the loss in it anyway. Different love stories give me different experiences and different feelings too. I would not want to trade that for anything else but that does not mean I am so vulnerable to fall in love with anyone. When you have seen or feel or even go through a lot, you tend to find it a little harder to open your heart up to just about anyone, even to those who shows you their soul or that rawness of them. Love when you are ready. Love everyone and everything the same. Love has no boundaries. Love has no regrets. Love is pure. Love requires sacrifice and that’s what we do for the person we love. I rather be a fool in love than not. 

Do not let love die in the movies only. Let it relive among us. Prove that the loves we watch or hear are not myths but it is the greatest truth that has ever existed. Make people jealous of it till they wanted it as much as we wanted it. Let’s reduce the amount of false hope, cheating, and importantly, divorces. We prefer happily in love with each other and happily married instead of breakups and divorces. Give meaning for the existence of love and not make a game out of it. Work with each other instead of giving up. Love each other like it’s the last day you will ever be with each other. Love with everything you have and do not expect anything back. Love more and never stop doing so. Love till the day you die and teach someone else to do so too. All we need in this twisted world are kindness, love, and a lot of hugs to make it a better place to live in. We have been given the privileged to do so; all we have to do is act on it. So what are waiting for? Let’s all be fools in love. As said as Nicholas Sparks (my all-time favourite author), “Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that.”

P/S: This does not only mean for a typical guy and a girl relationship, but instead, everyone that is in a relationship or wants to get into a relationship. It does not matter if you are from the LGBT community too because no matter what, we are all the same and we are all human. The love we are receiving and giving are the same too. Love is love. Spread more love and less hate. #hopefaithinspirelove