Hope & Inspire

Death is inevitable. Something that you can't escape. Something that will happen to each and every one of us someday. Some of us fear it, and the rest, doesn't even think about it. The ones who have lost someone, would definitely feel this in a more deeper level. We are not afraid of dying but we are afraid of losing the people that we love. We couldn't even imagine it till it happens to us. We can only wish that none of us goes through that pain, but we have no control over it. It's all in God's hands. We would pray so hard for our parents, our love ones to live a longer life and we are not afraid of the thought of them leaving because we are so confident that they are not, at least not any time soon. That was what I thought too. At least not now. Someday but not now. What I never expected in a million years is that I'm gonna be losing my dad when I was 21 years old, but I did. Something that I wish I could turn back time and maybe, I could have saved him. Mayb

My Amma turns 55 today and the more she ages, the more worried we get. It gets even more worse when you have lost a parent. I never thought I would feel this. Everyone would feel in such way at one point but I never expected it to be now. Death has become a sensitive issue for me, personally.  But we as humans only will realise it once it's too late, once they are gone from our lives. When we feel the loss and pain of a person so close to us and that's when we would value the living ones more because we can't bear to lose them too. It will break us in a most unimaginable way. Even though I am broken, I am strong and I am strong because of my Amma. At a young age we had to go through a broken family and now, the loss of my Appa where none of us have recovered from it yet, but if we have turned out well then the entire credit goes to my Amma. This woman raised us to be independent, responsible, and a strong individual. She's the only reason why I'm still here and we a

I know I've been blaming you for these past few days especially when I'm so hurt and broken because of something else. I blamed you for what you have done. If you have been a proper dad then we wouldn't be suffering this way. I wouldn't be having the thought that my relationship would be like yours too. That was the only thing I prayed so badly from before that my relationship should never be like my parents. My biggest fear, you could say. Lately, I came across this article by Natalia Lusinski titled, "How your relationship with your dad can affect your love life." "If you had a great relationship with your dad, you will most likely have few struggles in your relationships with men,” said Shirani M. Pathak. “If you didn’t have such a great relationship with your dad, expect to find yourself struggling in your relationships with men.” So this was going on in my mind quite sometime because it made sense. At least a little. But why am I talking about this

09.06.1955 - When the clock strikes twelve, there will always be a phone call from us wishing you 'Happy Birthday' but this time onwards there will be none because you are no longer with us. Just the thought of it causes me so much pain. I was dreading of this day for the amount of pain I'll be going through and to be honest, I didn't want to go through it at all but I have no choice because I can't escape it either. So I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, and the pain that aches in my heart writing you this because there's nothing else that I can do, but this. I'm not just going through this today, but every other day too, and this month especially, I'll be going through it twice because after this it's Father's Day. Your face is fading away from my memories and I only have pictures to get reminded by which at the same time is keeping those memories of you alive for me. I wish it wasn't that way at all. I wish all of us would still ha

To the one who has her heart,  She remembers the first time she got to know you, the first time you kissed her, the first time she gave love another chance, the first time you were crazy for her, the first time you held her hands, the first time you listened to her talk for hours, the first date where the both of you were surrounded with music, lights, and a Ferris wheel, the first time you made her fall in love with you and the first time you made her feel she finally found her one. For her, you are her whole world and without you, she does not exist either. You mean so much to her. You are her home, family and her person. She's the happiest and luckiest girl ever. And she also remembers her first fight with you and how it got worse from there onwards. How another person can ruin what you both have. Those were her worst times. She didn't even know how she went through it. Everything feels a little surreal, at times. She went through a lot of pain, physically, mentally, and e

People think she's full of shit. They think the things she say and do are just for attention. They think she is happy because that's how they see her, but what they don't know is that's how she lets them to see her. She don't tell them what's going on with her because they can never understand. So she keeps it all bottled up in her. Even if she did find that one person that she thinks she could tell everything to, she realised she is so wrong about it. They often failed to realise that it's usually not just one thing that makes them that way. It usually starts with one thing and ends up with everything else that's been going wrong in their life. You don't tell them it's just a small matter so don't stress up about it but that's the thing, isn't it? It's not stress we are talking about. It's never ending sadness that leads to overthinking, depression and then anxiety and when it's too late, suicide. It gets worse every time

She's a mother of two who lost her husband. Her daughters lost their dad and it was unexpected and sudden. It's sad that even if she wants to go out at this time, she's thinking twice about it because she's worried about leaving her grown up daughters alone at home. It's sad that she had to inform the neighbour to look after them for her while she's gone when she used to not worry at all because their dad was around. Even though he wasn't around much, at the end of the day, he was always there and they knew deep down inside that they were not worried at all because no matter what, he was there to save them, to protect them, to be their hero when they were in trouble. That made them sleep peacefully at night, brave enough to do and say anything and even go anywhere they wanted to but now, after he is gone, they are shaken, afraid and broken. Without them realizing, he was their strength, and courage. They needed him more than he needed them and it's too l

I’m aware that it has been long since I have updated my blog and this is probably the hardest blog that I got to write but the truth needs to be out, anyway. What it is about? It’s about my dad. I might even tear up while writing this blog, but I just have to instead of putting it off for quite a while now. So here it goes. Before I get into it, I wanted to let you guys know that he is no longer alive. He passed away last year on the 28 th of November, 2016 at 1.36 in the afternoon and he was only 61 years old. He was hospitalized for a week before we lost him to Basilar Artery Stroke.   It was a sudden, unexpected death. Let me tell you about my dad. There are always two sides to a person, the good and the bad. Let me start with the good side of him first. He’s someone who holds strong to his beliefs and views. He’s the bravest man I have ever known. I mean that is how dads are supposed to be, right? Strong, brave, going to that extra mile to support, protect and provide the fam