Insecurities

What are insecurities? What does it mean? Why each and every human being has this issue? It is because we have been compared to and we, ourselves, would compare us with one another. All of us have something about us that we don’t like or would want to change about. It could be the way we look or the way our body is or even the way our characters are. Sometimes it could be more specific too, like; maybe we want bigger eyes, smaller arms and thighs or even a flatter tummy. The list could go on and on. Girls are most likely are the victims of insecurities. We try so hard to be better for someone else, to make them like us, to make ourselves more attractive in their eyes, we forget to be ourselves. We don’t put ourselves first. We never make us as a priority and I think we should. We should do what makes us happy and at the end of the day, when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we should like us. We should like the way we are cause if we don’t love ourselves first, then who would? We can’t just expect someone else to do that for us. We need to start loving ourselves and then other people eventually would. But it is easier said than done, right? I mean, I know this because I know how hard it is to be happy with myself. I know that it is not easy. Nothing is easy in life though. That is how it is. At times, we are happy with ourselves and the way we are but because of people judgments towards us, we tend to dislike us even more. That is when we started to change ourselves, but ask yourself, are you truly happy with the change? Do you feel like yourself at all? Maybe some do, but most of them don’t. The one who has a big impact on making us change would be the guys, of course. Why do I say so? Only for them, we would truly change ourselves. We are so busy in making them happy and pleasing them, we don’t realize how unhappy we are. Most of us do this so that, that particular guy would like us. There are also certain guys who would want us to change something about us for them. Why would you even consider asking that to that girl? I mean, how could you even ask that in the first place? If you like that person, aren’t you supposed to like them for who they are, not for who they are not? Why, when it comes to you guys, you want us to change so badly for you while, we don’t even expect any change from you? We would like you guys for the person you are, so why is it so hard for you to accept us the way we are? It is a very simple thing that we are asking from you guys. Can’t you at least respect that? We like you that much till we go all the way to just change ourselves and in the end of the day, we are not even happy with ourselves. You guys won’t even know this cause we are so good at hiding how we actually feel when we are with you. So think about it, why do you even need to do that in the first place? I’m not saying change is bad, but the quite opposite actually. All of us would go through change at some point of our lives, but it happens because we want to and not because someone else wants us to. We should stop complaining about how we look and how we are and start appreciating every single flaw of ours. None of us are perfect and none of us are the same. We should understand that at first. We can never be like any of them out there and they can never be like us. There’s only one of us and we should be proud of us and accept us the way we are. Take me for an instant; I have been battling with insecurities for my entire life. I’m not going to lie about it, I still do. My insecurities would be on how my body is. When I was in high school, I hated how I look, I hated my entire self, but right after high school, I did go through a little change in my body and from then itself, I started to be happy with myself. I like the way I look. I’m not thin and I’m not fat, but I’m curvy. I’m tall and that makes me big. But you see, apparently that is an issue for some of the human beings out there. I don’t get how I look can affect them, or even be a problem for them, but somehow it is and I’m not ashamed to say this, but most of this amazing individuals are, of course, the guys (not all of them actually, a few of them that I somehow know). It seems that they like me or thinks that I am pretty, but they at the same time would think that I should lose weight. I mean what? How would you even have the nerve to say that to a girl? You’re probably short or big, but we’re not saying that to you, do we? Then why is there a need for you to say such things to a girl? This kind of individuals makes me so mad sometimes, but then again, if I were the person I was in high school, then I would have to simply agree with them but too bad, I’m not. Instead of agreeing this time, I would just simply tell them that I am very happy with the way I am and I have no intention in changing myself for anyone else. If you, like me, then you should have liked me for the person I am and not trying so hard in changing me. Then there are also the ones I regret liking once upon a time ago. These individuals are the ones I have to mention especially. They rejected me when I was in high school just because I wasn’t their type or appealing to them, but somehow now, when I look much better than before, they would come crawling back saying that they are interested in me. It is funny how that you don’t like me when I’m at my worst so what’s  in your right mind would you think that I would like you now? I don’t get how you can even come back after so many years and to think that I would like you back, now, that is hilarious. You didn’t want me at my worse, so you’re sure don’t deserve me when I’m at my best. Simple as that. My past would always remain as my past. That is how I live. So if you all of a sudden like me now, I suggest you to forget about it because it’s not happening. Not now and not ever. So, finally, to all the girls out there, I literally mean all of them for this one cause all of us do have insecurities, I do wish that we don’t have to go through insecurities but sadly, it’s not in our hands. If people change their thinking and also on how they look at people, then all of that is possible to change but I don’t really think that it’s going to happen any time soon or even happen at all. So all that we can do is that try changing our thinking about it and try looking in the mirror every day and say to ourselves that, ‘I am beautiful the way I am” and accept the way we are. All of us are beautiful in our own way. No one is born ugly in this world. We should be grateful to God that all parts of our body are functioning well and that we are healthy after all. So stop complaining and start appreciating every single thing that is around us. This does apply for the guys too. You don’t think that only girls go through insecurities right? As much as we are insecure about ourselves, they are too. We are all humans after all. We can’t stop the feeling of not good enough altogether, but we can try. At times, we would have a breakdown and we would despise ourselves the most then, but we should keep reminding ourselves that we are beautiful no matter what and whatever you are feeling then would pass too. We are trying so hard to be someone else, we forget to be ourselves and we should stop doing so and start loving ourselves more. Lastly, to the guys or girls out there who want the person they are interested in to change them, you should not be in a relationship or fall in love in the first place. I’m not trying to be mean, but if you can’t see the beauty in a person then you don’t deserve that person or any person in that matter of fact at all. I’m sorry to say that, but last I checked we all should fall in love with a person’s personality instead of their appearance not the other way around. So think about it. Would you want anyone to change you when you’re already happy with yourself? If you don’t want to then why would you change anyone else for that reason? Ask yourself that and I hope you would understand what I am trying to say and change your perception on it. When we do that, we would eventually make people feel a little better about them and it would make us happy too. So once again, change if you want to for yourself not for other people, only then you can find real happiness in everything that you do. According to Colbie Caillat in her song Try, “Don’t you like you? Cause I like you.”